Finding True Love


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Ah, love. There are more songs written about love than any other topic. Everyone wants to be in love, don’t they? If you are single, you are most likely looking for the love of your life. That person you can share everything with, the one who likes to be around you and loves you no matter what. If you are married, you still want to be swept away by romance and ooey-gooey feelings of love.

The quest for true love is an age-old adventure. Millions of hours are spent on finding true love. Some succeed and some fail in the quest. I contend that experiencing true love is less about finding the right person and more about being the right person.

5 Steps to Being the Right Person for Love

1. Be Yourself, Love Yourself

As I’ve discussed in previous articles, it is so important to know yourself, accept yourself and express yourself. It is going through this process that makes it possible to love yourself. If you don’t love yourself it makes it harder for others to love you. I didn’t say impossible, just more challenging. When you are comfortable in your own skin, accepting yourself, you project confidence that is attractive. The opposite is also true. If you are not comfortable with yourself and you lack confidence, it is harder for people to want to be around you.

2. Be Positive

Are you a complainer? Do you constantly worry about everything? Do you put yourself down or talk badly about other people? Are you a negative person? Think for a moment about the kind of people you enjoy being with. Are they negative complainers who worry and sabotage themselves and others?  Probably not.

Most of us like to be around positive people, who see the glass as half full and life as a grand opportunity. If this is the kind of people you enjoy spending time with then this is the kind of person you should be. Life is a gift and every moment we have should be spent living in gratitude. Gratitude begets gratitude so if you struggle with being a negative person you don’t need to be stuck there.

Start by thinking about 3 things you are thankful for and write them down. Try using a journal to write them in. Spend a few moments each day reading your list, even adding to it. The more conscious you are of being thankful, the more your gratitude will increase. Expressing gratitude will help replace negativity in your life with positivity.

3. Be Happy and Content

Being happy and content relates to being comfortable with yourself. If you are waiting for another person to make you happy, whether you are married or single, you will be disappointed. Your spouse or significant other is not responsible for your happiness. Now, they may do things that make you feel happy but ultimately, you are responsible for your own happiness. 

It’s not fair to place other people in charge of your happiness. It gives them too much power over you anyway. You must find ways to be happy and content with yourself and with your current life in order to attract true love.  

4. Be Real, Be Open, Be Honest

Authenticity is crucial to being the right person for love. If you are a fraud, hiding your true self from others, you will never be truly loved. You may experience moments but you will not reach the depth necessary for true love if you are too shallow to be real. Being open and honest is risky. But you have to be vulnerable in order to be known and you have to be willing to be fully known to experience true love.


5. Be Generous

There are two kinds of people in this world – givers and takers. Which one are you? Are you generous with your time for others? Do you offer to pay when you go out? Or do you only contact people when you want something or need their help? Generosity is more than just actions, it is a mindset. One which has the power to reap benefits both now and later. Being generous is about more than things too.

You can be stingy with your love by withholding it. Being a taker can manifest itself in always having to be first or always right or always having the last word. When you are generous with your love it is attractive to others. When you are generous in spirit people will want to be around you. 

In conclusion, it’s important to remember that being the right person is the surest way of finding true love. By loving yourself and eliminating negativity in your life, you open up the possibilities for being real and happy in your current situation. Gratitude and generosity open the doors for true love as you focus on your impact on others. Be the right person and true love will find you.


This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Generosity is the topic I connect with most in terms of an area that can use some work. Like the others, it is easy to neglect without meaning to. I have to remember what I told my kids growing up when I heard, “I didn’t do it on purpose!” That may be, but you must learn to be purposeful in your actions/words.

    Mirror? Hello! Nice to see you again!

    1. Amy, I love your thoughtful response. Everything important is done with intentionality.

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